Someone is knocking on my door -its sound is now gradually getting fainter. But I won't be receiving this visitor, whoever it is; in fact I can't, and I don't wish to. The wind is tousling my hair and I can feel it against my face. I am presently falling down through thin air, closing in on the roadside pavement every moment. Having exhausted my desire to live, I have leaped out of my 20th floor apartment window. I have been contemplating on it for quite sometime now, ever since my wife and son died, but only today I finally summoned the courage, in a fit of severe pain, to jump out of the window.
I have often wondered before what I will be thinking of in my mind as I fall down -will I scream with fear, struck by the realisation of imminent death, or will I cling on to the hope of being saved miraculously, or will I just be silent, still thinking about my beloved ones, hoping to meet them soon somewhere in a place where we all land up after death? Or will I be damned and sent to hell, as the priests say, without getting to meet them ever?
But now as I fall, I am getting to know the answer to all those questions that had troubled me at times. I am actually thinking about myself, as a matter of fact a bit optimistically. I think I am watching another image of myself -another 'me', in a parallel universe, who is still going to be alive, for having decided against jumping out at the very last moment. That 'me' had also wept form the morning, sitting in front of the two photos, caressing the frames with his hand, eagerly digging up old memories, and somewhat voluntarily getting choked with pain. After scribbling down a suicide note and placing it on the writing desk, I, in my parallel universe, walked up to the window, took a leg out, closed my eyes, but finally couldn't hurl myself out; instead I kept thinking of a parallel universe where my wife and son were still alive, staying with me, and that my wife was knocking on the door. I slowly got back from the window and went in to open the door to let the visitor in.
As I fall, now only moments from death's arms, I smile at what I see. I realise that though I will cease to live in this universe, I don't cease to exist. I am alive in many of my parallel Universes where I have chosen to live on, and actually living happily in some of them. But these Universes are all secluded and a great distance apart from each other, yet they are all so close to me even without my having realised that before. I will die in this particular Universe now, but I won't perish, or to put it more correctly: I have just chosen to make this particular Universe cease to exist for 'me'.
Thud!
I have often wondered before what I will be thinking of in my mind as I fall down -will I scream with fear, struck by the realisation of imminent death, or will I cling on to the hope of being saved miraculously, or will I just be silent, still thinking about my beloved ones, hoping to meet them soon somewhere in a place where we all land up after death? Or will I be damned and sent to hell, as the priests say, without getting to meet them ever?
But now as I fall, I am getting to know the answer to all those questions that had troubled me at times. I am actually thinking about myself, as a matter of fact a bit optimistically. I think I am watching another image of myself -another 'me', in a parallel universe, who is still going to be alive, for having decided against jumping out at the very last moment. That 'me' had also wept form the morning, sitting in front of the two photos, caressing the frames with his hand, eagerly digging up old memories, and somewhat voluntarily getting choked with pain. After scribbling down a suicide note and placing it on the writing desk, I, in my parallel universe, walked up to the window, took a leg out, closed my eyes, but finally couldn't hurl myself out; instead I kept thinking of a parallel universe where my wife and son were still alive, staying with me, and that my wife was knocking on the door. I slowly got back from the window and went in to open the door to let the visitor in.
As I fall, now only moments from death's arms, I smile at what I see. I realise that though I will cease to live in this universe, I don't cease to exist. I am alive in many of my parallel Universes where I have chosen to live on, and actually living happily in some of them. But these Universes are all secluded and a great distance apart from each other, yet they are all so close to me even without my having realised that before. I will die in this particular Universe now, but I won't perish, or to put it more correctly: I have just chosen to make this particular Universe cease to exist for 'me'.
Thud!
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