Femme Fatale, Part 3: The Sermon

The Master, Mary's father, began his sermon with a gentle smile.
Dear friends, as you know, we are all the children of God, the omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent God; a God so potent and virile in His imagination that He managed to imagine the creation of billions of earthlings, each with the same potency and imagination to imagine their real creator in all His glory.
He took a deep breath, peered at the congregation, as if to judge whether they were following him or not, and then calmly continued:
Yet, we have lost our way. False prophets have misled us and established religions in His praise. But a few of us have found the right way, and we have assembled here today to understand and interpret His message in the way He had originally intended us to. The question that we will discuss today is "What is the real meaning of life?" But to answer that we must first understand 'reality' itself. Dear friends, come here one by one and take this from my hand. This is the only substance that can help you to understand reality.

He stood up with a chalice in his hand and the devotees lined up before him. Josh also joined the queue. The Master took out what seemed to be strips of some kind of blotter paper and dipped them in the alcohol of the chalice before putting one in each devotee's mouth. Josh also received one, and moments later he had an experience which is similar, although much more disillusioning, than the one you, the reader, might have on closely watching this video:

The congregation hobbled back to their seats as the Master began to speak again.
Dear friends, our eyes and senses deceive us, what we believe to be reality is probably a mere illusion. God has thrown a challenge for us, it is to see whether we can overcome our immediate notion of reality and use our imagination to find what He really intended. Unfortunately, established religions have failed to guide us. They ask humans to repent and to be afraid of His wrath. They tell us that it is He who will judge us in the end. But dear friends, they are all wrong. God has given us all His potency and imagination, and yet we fail to see that the real meaning of life is to live it. And to live it is to enjoy it. The joy of life, my dear friends, is in the act of union between two bodies. It is the most spiritual experience that one can have, and yet our corrupt society would prefer not to talk about it, and religions make them believe that the purification of soul is possible by renouncing sexual desires. Friends, it is against this false notion of puritanism that we must fight.

Josh could not understand most of the sermon, but images like the one above flashed in his mind. They did seem to be telling him something vaguely similar. The teary eyed congregation was in praise of the Master's sermon. Josh was too confused to understand what they were saying, and he mechanically chanted along with them, 'Master! O, Master, help us to taste the joy of life!'

The Master began to speak again.
Dear friends, now we shall seek God by fulfilling His wish. My dear daughter, Mary, will help you in seeking His grace.
The Master then turned to Mary, who was looking more beautiful than ever. Through the haze of smoke, she came forward like an angel and stood beside her father. The Master invited the eldest member of the congregation, a yellow eyed, hairy, old drunk, who took Mary with him to the next room. Josh sat perplexed, he could not understand it at first. The old drunk came out after a long time, buttoning his shirt, and he handed over a few bank notes to the Master, bowed respectfully, and left. One after the other, the members went in to that room, came out after sometime, either tucking their shirt or zipping up their trouser, and they paid to the Master, bowed and then left. Josh was the last member left in the house. By then he had regained some of his senses. It was his turn to go in. The Master accompanied him to the next room where Mary lay naked on the bed.
- Come here darling, I was waiting for you, she said coquettishly.
- You whore!, exclaimed Josh, gripped in a fit of rage.
At this the Master suddenly thrust at him and pinned him down on the bed next to Mary. Josh had never imagined that the old man was capable of showing such strength and violence. He shouted at Josh, 'You filthy apostate! How dare you insult her?' Josh realized that the Master was searching his pockets and as soon as he had found the wad of cash, Josh's monthly salary, he left the room with it. 'Learn to show respect to the Lady, she will be your savior and your salvation,' barked the Master on his way out.
- Come dear, don't get upset. I am here for you, said Mary.
Josh looked at her with disgust for sometime.
- Come my baby, she said, extending her arms towards Josh.
Josh slowly embraced her and began to sob like a child. Behind his closed eyelids he saw an image which seemed to narrate back to him this story of his life:

Femme Fatale, Part 2: The Invitation

Mary's desk at the workplace was right outside Mr. Sweeney's office and opposite to Josh's. At lunch, Josh and Mary often had little chats during which she told him that she lived with her father, who was some sort of theologian. Being the only daughter, she had to take care of the home as well. These little disclosures only raised her stature in Josh's eyes and made her seem even more divine, and therefore, increasingly unattainable. Mary's reluctance to talk too much about her life also increased that sense of aloofness about her. Josh found it very hard to find suitable topics for long conversations until he found out that, like him, Mary too enjoyed watching movies. And one day, just like in movies, a downpour came at five in the evening when Mary was about to leave from work, giving Josh the chance to escort her under his umbrella, a wish that he had secretly nurtured for long.

When they reached her home she invited him to come in for a drink. The home was on the second floor of an old, shabby apartment. It had a small hall and two rooms, one belonging to Mary and the other to her father. Her father came out to welcome Josh. He was an old man with wise eyes and shaky hands. He was wearing some kind of a white robe that gave him an air of authority. He informed Josh that he was waiting for his congregation to arrive and invited Josh to join them. Josh did not like the idea, but he was curious to hear that the old man held his sermons in that dingy hall. Moreover, the idea to stay close to Mary, and to get to know her life better, seemed quite appealing to Josh. The old man was pleased with his decision.

- Son, our congregation is held in secret for we believe in ideals that are different and perhaps quite unacceptable to the corrupt society that surrounds us today, the old man informed Josh.
- And what exactly do you preach? Josh inquired.
- You will see soon, they will be here any moment now, we will be glad to have your company.

The bell rang and Mary attended it. Five members of the congregation arrived. They all looked like ordinary men who had just come from their workplace for some evening fun. They referred to Mary's father as the Master. Having renounced all religions many years back, Josh wasn't quite sure whether weekday evening sermons were that common. In any case, all these were irrational he thought. After an initial round of introductions, the congregation took their seats and Mary's father got up to light a bunch of incense sticks. Copious quantities of drinks were passed around, which the members had brought with them. To Josh, all this looked increasingly bizarre, nevertheless he sat down with them and removed his necktie to get a bit comfortable. Mary stood demurely next to her father. The little hall was soon filled with smoke coiling out of the incense sticks. The fumes mixed with the intoxicating smell of alcohol that hung in the air, creating a stifling environment. Josh felt uneasy and excited at the same time, only the beautiful face of Mary calmed him.

Femme Fatale, Part 1: The Arrival

In the beginning of fall, Josh, a self-declared atheist and confirmed bachelor of forty, ran into the beautiful and pious Mary while ascending the stairs at his workplace. Their eyes met, and they greeted each other. He moved aside to let her pass and watched after her as she made her way down the staircase before disappearing behind the main door leading to the street, leaving only a faint trail of her perfume behind. It was the first time Josh had seen her; in fact it was the first time that he was seeing a lady at his workplace. When he turned his head around, he saw the watchman on the landing of the first floor with his usual coffee mug in hand.
- Met our new secretary?, asked the watchman as his lips twitched to form a suggestive smile.
- I see, so did she join today?
- Yes, apparently the boss is very pleased with her already, the watchman replied, smacking his lips to clear the froth left from his last sip.
- So he arrived early today? Well, that's good, I need to talk to him, said Josh contemplatively.
- No, I don't think you can. He said he is tired today and needs to leave soon. He has to be at the station in an hour, informed the watchman.
- Oh yes, I remember now, he had told me that his wife is going to her mother's today.
- Yes, that must be it.
Nevertheless, Josh went to his boss' office and knocked on the door. He had to talk to him about his salary; he had been promoted three months back, but hadn't seen any raise since. His boss, Mr. Sweeney, was a fat, short swindler, who after having made a fortune in the real estate business had aligned himself with a political party of similar dubious ideology and started the consultancy office where Josh had been employed for the last three years. When Josh entered Mr. Sweeney's office he found the old swine panting as usual, perhaps a little more than usual. He excitedly informed Josh about his new secretary, Mary. While he went on with his monologue, Josh absentmindedly imagined how it would look if one were to hang Mr. Sweeney upside down and slash him from his chest to lower abdomen with a sharp blade so that his entrails fell out like those of the pigs in the abattoirs. While Josh was still engrossed in his grotesque reverie, Mr. Sweeney suddenly looked at his watch, jumped up from his chair and left the room. Josh followed him, but Mr. Sweeney hurried down the stairs with loud grunts and pants. By the time Josh reached the main door, Mr. Sweeney was driving off in his car. When Josh came out on the street, the sun blinded him for a moment and a dark silhouette appeared before him. The familiar smell of perfume told him that it was Mary.
- Are you all right?, asked a mellifluous voice.
- Yes, I am fine.
Mary helped him back to the office. He thanked her and took her around the office, introducing her to all the other employees, just the way Mr. Sweeney had asked him to. It was only then that Josh noticed the innocence on her face, but there was something seductive in her. He observed her moist red lips, her dark brown eyes, the brown locks of hair that caressed her nape, and judged their beauty like an expert jeweler carefully weighing old gold trinkets before buying them. Mary seemed to be more beautiful than he had previously thought. She was twenty something, but there was a charm and poise in her that he had never noticed in any other girl before. Moreover, she had attended college, a rarity among girls in that town. Overall, he was very impressed with his new colleague. Josh had never been very close to his colleagues before, perhaps because he had a certain disdain towards them for their vulgarity and ignorance. Their crudeness and insincerity appalled him. But Mary was entirely different from them. She was beautiful and intelligent. In his heart he felt that her arrival at the office, and therefore in his life, held a promise that was yet to be explored. That day on his way back from work, Josh felt some inexplicable happiness rising in his heart which made him feel strong and young. In his happiness, or perhaps in an effort to preserve it, he even paid off a drunk beggar, which was not only uncharacteristic of him but also went against his principles. He sat down on a park bench. The change in nature had begun, the leaves had taken a yellow hue. He sat there for long trying to recreate Mary's face in his mind.

The Death of a Mantis

Joshua went out to the balcony for a smoke. He needed some time to think over the entire matter. Marie realized it too. So she quietly retired to her bedroom. "We can't go on like this, I can't take it anymore. You must choose now," she had told him earlier at dinner. She didn't want to say it, but it just happened. Actually, it had to happen someday, and she knew it all too well. During these five years of their courtship, only the fear of losing Joshua had somehow prevented her from saying it out loud. But today an innocuous joke had triggered her outburst. Her concealed anger and frustration had suddenly found a vent, and they poured out with full vengeance, hoping to hurt and shame Joshua, if not make him repent.

"Joshua, I think you never really understood me. To you I am simply an escape from the daily squabbles of your unhappy married life. You behave as if you have every right to turn to me for comfort, but that I should not expect anything from you in return, not even love. I am tired of being the healer, of being your mistress. I want you to leave behind your past, your dysfunctional family. Come and stay with me. You must choose now, or else let me talk to your wife." Marie's words seemed to have taken Joshua by surprise. But no, that can't be true. He could not have been that naive. He knew what Marie wanted. She had waited for all these years hoping that Joshua will leave his family and come over to her forever. But that hadn't happened. Yes, Joshua could gladly leave his wife, but he couldn't live without the two little kids he had with her. "How could Marie even think that I will ever leave the kids?" wondered Joshua as he lit his cigarette. Wasn't it clear to Marie that their relationship could never be anything more than what it had always been? -A relationship whose very existence depended on the complete lack of expectation of it evolving into something bigger. Joshua thought that they both knew it from the very beginning. Perhaps the woman in Marie knew it too, but had never been able to accept it.

Joshua went to the bedroom. Marie was lying under the soft white sheets and watching an Animal Planet documentary on TV about sexual cannibalism in the insect world. Joshua snuggled up to her. She seemed to have cooled down. He caressed her hand, and kissed her. He reached out for the remote control and increased the volume.

Watch how the male praying mantis slowly climbs up on the female's back and then proceeds to mate. The mating can continue for several hours in some species.

Marie's sighs were barely audible. Those were the sighs of both pleasure and pain; physical pleasure and emotional pain. The bed rocked gently with the sighs.

While the procreation is still in progress, the female attacks the partner and devours its head. A greenish fluid exudes from the opening left by the male's head. Researchers believe that since copulatory movements in the mantis are controlled by the ganglion in the abdomen, the mating continues even after the male has lost his head.

Joshua wasn't looking at Marie anymore, he paid no attention to her kisses, whispers, and her pleas. He was watching the hideous drama unfolding on the TV screen. Without a warning the female mantis lashed out to devour its partner. The headless male mantis still remained on top of its female. Caught between the raptorial legs of the female, the helpless male had little chance to escape.

When the mating is complete, the headless male mantis may try to escape but the female grasps it firmly.

"So much like humans," thought Joshua, who was feeling light in his head. Like the headless mantis he too was trying to free himself from Marie's embrace. The violence unfolding on the screen was the violence that has always existed and will continue to exist throughout the animal kingdom. This is the violence of orgasm, of conception, of birth, of domination, of death -the violence that is necessary for the very existence of life. It is the violence needed to ensure the perpetuity of species and for securing a better future for progeny. "Can a father be expected to desert his children for his mistress?" No. "Is violence justified to protect family and children?" Yes.

The male mantis is destined to be a female's meal.

With the speed of a female mantis lunging for its mate, Joshua picked up the pillow and held it tightly over Marie's face. She fought back, scratched him and wriggled under his weight. But it was all over very soon. Joshua shook off Marie's lifeless arms and legs from his back. He had been able to do what the male mantis couldn't -he had freed himself.

Post coital cannibalism is found in other insects as well. In some species one partner actually sacrifices its life. For example, the black widow spider too devours its male partner, but their courtship ritual is even more elaborate than the praying mantis'.

Joshua felt dizzy and confused; he got out of the bed and stood before the mirror. In it he saw Marie lying under the ruffled white sheet, her silver necklace with the little cross pendant lay on top of it. She appeared to be peacefully asleep. But Joshua wished that she would open her eyes and rise up, then call him near and forgive him for all his sins. Perhaps she already had. After all hadn't she always said that she would gladly sacrifice herself for him? The TV set droned on softly, a black widow was busy impaling its mate. All of a sudden time seemed to have stopped ticking, nothing could ever be the same anymore. It was as if the world had silently turned around. Joshua needed some time to think over the entire matter. He went out to the balcony for a smoke.